I am convinced that difficult times are ahead. I am living in a moment that is testing me. I suppose you can say this is one of those moments where what I believe becomes practice. I don’t feel well at the moment but that feeling will pass. My hope is to not lose focus upon God. What is done to me by others is not something that I should allow to take my focus away from my Creator.
I don’t know what to think at this moment. There’s so much to take into consideration. There is so much to pray about. My prayer is that I don’t make the wrong decisions. I am not going to decide tonight because I will make the wrong decision tonight.
I want to be so honest about what I am going through, but I lack the words to explain these things. Random thoughts drift through my mind and I find myself debating the idea of membership. I mean what’s the point? I want to grow but I feel that I may end up drifting away in these next six months. I fear that I will drift away.
But you must say the things that are consistent with sound teaching. 2 Older men are to be level headed, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance. 3 In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. ⌊They are⌋ to teach what is good, 4 so they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered.
6 In the same way, encourage the young men to be self-controlled 7 in everything. Make yourself an example of good works with integrity and dignity in your teaching. 8 Your message is to be sound beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be ashamed, having nothing bad to say about us.
Titus 2:1-8 (HCSB)