Thursday Afternoon…

So, I am sitting here thinking about what I could be doing. The problem is that I do not have the finances to do these things. I will go over some of the things that I want to do: 1. Photographer. I would love to travel and photograph (videographer as well) people and places. I just don’t have the gear. I am not interested in point and shoot cameras. I mean I want professional camera gear. I have had it in the past. Now I don’t due to thieves. That’s what happened to everything I had in California. Long Story. 2. Filmmaker. SO much equipment needed here. I would love to have my own production company. I would need the production and post-production equipment and space. 3. Writer. I would love to be able to travel and write. Maybe as a photographer/ videographer as well. 4. Actor. I have done this in the past. I am open to it, but it is not my top pick. I have been a paid photographer and actor. Anything else I am either not interested in or I would need more education to pursue. I am open to going back to school again, but I can only go back if all of the expenses are somehow covered. No loans and not working a full time job at the same time. I would like a car and a small house (own not rent). A furnished house. I am tired of people thinking that I am not good enough for anything. I have to remember that the only person that I have in my life is my mom. Without her I don’t know what I would have done. I have some friends, but none of them can really help me. I don’t know what to do. I just know that I am not going to give up. I will not give in to depression.

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